Tuesday, October 5, 2010

What this deployment is definitely NOT like

When people hear that I'm deployed to the Middle East, most of the time, they give me this look of sheer admiration. Like I'm personally hunting down Osama Bin Laden myself as I wade through seas of insurgents, knocking them down, dozens at a time:

What they don't realize is that when I'm not working on the Public Affairs sector of the command, I stand baking under the blazing asshole sun--inspecting engines, transmissions, and all sorts of vehicle parts for contraband and dirt. Yes, dirt. Outside. In the desert. Where there has never in the history of Kuwait, EVER been a shortage of dirt.

Running Challenge: Day 2

October 2, 2010

It's my day off. My first REAL day off. Don't have any edits to do, no meetings, no appointments, nothing. Allow me to explain; I haven't taken a day off for the past month while I've been clawing to secure myself into the coveted position of Public Affairs (see blog: Effed in the A).  Knowing that I would be off the next day, I stayed up all night doing all the corrections for the kilo cruisebook and worrying about Julio's car accident, which turned out to be not as bad as I thought.
Now that my first issue was distributed (and very well recieved), and the cruisebook was finished, I could finally relax. Sleep in. Not worry about getting up at all. But I must run. I have a whole day to run.

6:00 a.m. BEEP BEEP (it's actually nice outside, get up and run)

8:00 a.m. BEEP BEEP (get up before the earth feels like it's going to burn you alive)

10:00 a.m. BEEP BEEP (now it's too hot, you fucker. why don't you at least stretch a little?)

12:00 p.m. BEEP BEEP (really?!? it feels like Satan's ass out there. fuck no)

1:00 p.m. wake up, eat a couple of Ritz crackers and some ghost marshmallows. watch Jon Stewart on my computer. nap

2:00 p.m. start reading a book, contemplate on walking to the gym. denied. contemplate on walking to the latrine. ...
......nah, too hot.

3:00 p.m. okay, now I'm really hungry. I polish off some more marshmallows. Hunger crisis averted. rack exit no longer necessary

5:00 p.m. It is imperative that I peel myself off this bed. gym? not until I eat some real food.
shower, change, call friend
...wait on friend....
...freak out about possibly losing keys that house the command camera...

7:00 p.m. make it to Zone 1 where there is some sort of pathetic Oktoberfest celebration. Eat a brat. feel sick. head back.

9:00 p.m. Too sick to run, bedtime sounds better

Running Challenge: Day 1

October 1, 2010

I’m ready for this challenge! I’m positively beaming with positive positive-ness!!!! Nothing can stop me! I am a running master! I am the queen of the track! My legs were made for gliding across the pavement like a gazelle! I will win!!!!!! I will CONQUER!!!!!!!!

I ran over 5 miles. Yeah, that's right punk.

I am challenged once again....f*ck

September 21, 2010

So I agreed to a challenge via Nike+ to outrun the boys in October. I figured this would be a great motivation to keep me on track, plus it would give me some bragging rights. Needless to say, there was a lot of shit talking on Facebook over who was going to outrun whom:

Justin McMillan>Ryan Harvey: I created a challenge on Nike+. It starts October 1st. If we lose to a couple of girls, our penises will implode in defeated agony. Brigid, Eva, you’re going DOWN!

p.s. How did the Fire-breathing Dragon-Fighting Warrior challenge go?

Ryan Harvey: Yeah! Let’s do this! We’re not losing to a buncha GIRLS! He-man Woman-hater’s club ASSEMBLE!!!

But yeah, the challenge was cool. It was hard because I had to ride a fire-breathing dragon across a lake of fire, but I’ve been training pretty hard-core. It took me an hour and 6 minutes but I finally managed to explode a Minotaur’s head with my powerful swing.

Eva Alvarado: Aw, man, I wanted to be a werewolf, but the name was taken by your stupid face… Bring it on Bitches!!!!

Ryan Harvey: We are the Werewolves!!! And we can eat witches in a single bite! Kettle bell!

Eva Alvarado: I will eat your face in a single bite!

Brigid Edwards: The witches are going to shove your dignity up your stupid butt-face!

Eva Alvarado: Yeah! And I will unleash a thousand Rabid monkeys of doom up in your shit!

So now I’m stuck with this stupid challenge that I HAVE to win because I can’t keep my mouth shut.

What happened to the time?

I've been so preoccupied with studying, working out, working, and the Public Affairs thing that I totally forgot about writing awesome and depressing stuff. Well, that is NO MORE!!!! Stay tuned for something incredibly EPIC