What this deployment is definitely NOT like

When people hear that I'm deployed to the Middle East, most of the time, they give me this look of sheer admiration. Like I'm personally hunting down Osama Bin Laden myself as I wade through seas of insurgents, knocking them down, dozens at a time:

What they don't realize is that when I'm not working on the Public Affairs sector of the command, I stand baking under the blazing asshole sun--inspecting engines, transmissions, and all sorts of vehicle parts for contraband and dirt. Yes, dirt. Outside. In the desert. Where there has never in the history of Kuwait, EVER been a shortage of dirt.